Domestic Abuse

How Domestic Abuse Effects Women
Domestic Abuse affects 1 in 5 women in Scotland. Perpetrators can be partners or ex-partners.                 Domestic  Abuse is not just about being hit. The abuse can be physical, sexual, financial and emotional/ psychological. These forms of abuse can happen to anyone, whether they are male/female, adult, teenage, straight, and/or in LGBT relationships, but statistics show that most victims of domestic abuse are women.

Does your partner or husband do any of these things to you?
• Deny the abuse and blame you for causing it
• Hit, push or shove you
• Put you down in front of others
• Call you names and criticise you all the time
• Isolate you from your family and friends
• Keep you constantly short of money
• Make you do things that make you feel uncomfortable
• Use the children against you
• Control and threaten you

How Domestic Abuse Effects Children and Young People
Domestic abuse happens between 2 adults who are in a relationship ie. husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend. It also happens in same sex relationships.

Witnessing domestic abuse can be very upsetting and frightening.

Abuse in the home is always wrong and it is never your fault.   This information will help you learn more about types of abuse and how your worker will help you.

You may see or hear the abuse happening in the home. Living with domestic abuse can make you feel really sad, helpless and confused. You may think that you have done something to cause the abuse in your family. This is not true but sometimes you might:
• Blame yourself for the abuse
• Feel frightened, sad, ashamed, confused or unhappy
• Feel sick, have stomach pains or headaches
• Stop eating or not feel like eating
• Cry a lot
• Sleep badly, have nightmares or wet the bed
• Find school difficult
• Lose interest in your school work or your friends
• Feel like running away
• Feel angry and want to hurt yourself or somebody else or to smash something
• Have trouble talking – for example, you might start to stutter
• Worry about the safety of someone in your family who is being abused
• Take drugs or alcohol to cope Domestic abuse is not just about being hit.

Domestic abuse is not just about being hit. There are different types of abuse that can happen in the home.

Some examples of domestic abuse that may affect you are:

  • Physical abuse – someone hurting a loved one by hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking, pulling hair or burning. The abuser may throw or break things in your home or hurt your pets.
  • Emotional/mental abuse – threats to hurt a member of your family in any of the above ways or saying mean and nasty things, name calling, saying rude things, shouting or talking to you or someone else in a scary or threatening way.
  • Sexual abuse – Someone you love being forced to have sex or take part in sexual acts when they don’t want to.
  • Financial abuse – Someone not giving your parent/guardian enough money to buy food or clothing for you or the rest of your family.

How your worker will help you
Your worker will try to help you understand your situation by being there for you. She will listen to your worries and help you find answers to questions that you haven’t been able ask anyone. She will be as honest as she can with you.

Sometimes you may be scared to ask people you care for questions. Your worker can be there and help you talk to that person if you want to but she will never ask you to do anything you don’t want to do.

Your worker can also help you with other things such as:
• Problems at school
• join clubs or groups
• support you at meetings
• attend medical/dental appointments
• Your own relationships with boyfriend/girlfriends

Your worker is there for you and will help you to make positive life choices to enable you to make decisions that affect your day to day life and equip you with the knowledge you need to fulfil your goals in life.

Confidentiality/Child Protection
You can talk to your worker about anything you want to. The service we provide is confidential. This means we don’t tell ANYONE what your worker and you discuss during your support, unless you give her permission to. However, if she thinks that you or anyone else is at risk of being hurt or in danger she will have to tell people. This is called child protection.

“Gain confidence and belief to walk away”

bme and child

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